On friday

Sabrina and I parted ways. Right now I'm not sure if it's forever or not, but I hope we can resolve some things an piece us back together. I am, however, sick of talking about it to people. I'm way sick of being asked if I'm ok, because I'm not one to externally show how I feel in a situation such as this one. Not having her around feels exactly like I need a cigarette, so I've been smoking a lot, but it's not helping. Everyone I've talked to has said not to worry about it, and I know I can handle a break up, but it's just so weird because as far as I can tell, the only reasoning behind it was because we'd been weird for a while. I wish something big and emotional had happened, so I didn't feel so empty.

She's my best friend and that's what sucks the most. I could tell her anything, but now I have to walk on fucking eggshells around her as I don't want to seem too sappy and lose her entirely.

I also have written too much art historical data in the past weekend, drank too much alcohol, and eaten not enough. I vomited for the first time since June on Saturday, it was all bile and the water I tried to drink. The goddamned dog would go around where I was puking and lick the grass, it was revolting. I'm just glad that no one reads this.

T. Austin Huse