Finally, I have some shit in my room.

For the past 4 months, I have had very little in the way of ornamental decoration in my bedroom, but I finally decided to do my shit and put some stuff up.

Also, started taking Chantix on Thursday, so I'm quitting smoking. For real, for good. There ain't no pussing out now, even if I want to, I can't.

This Thanksgiving's going to be shitty. I'm gonna have to throwdown and get nassssstay.

sometimes i'm just a pussy

On friday

Sabrina and I parted ways. Right now I'm not sure if it's forever or not, but I hope we can resolve some things an piece us back together. I am, however, sick of talking about it to people. I'm way sick of being asked if I'm ok, because I'm not one to externally show how I feel in a situation such as this one. Not having her around feels exactly like I need a cigarette, so I've been smoking a lot, but it's not helping. Everyone I've talked to has said not to worry about it, and I know I can handle a break up, but it's just so weird because as far as I can tell, the only reasoning behind it was because we'd been weird for a while. I wish something big and emotional had happened, so I didn't feel so empty.

She's my best friend and that's what sucks the most. I could tell her anything, but now I have to walk on fucking eggshells around her as I don't want to seem too sappy and lose her entirely.

I also have written too much art historical data in the past weekend, drank too much alcohol, and eaten not enough. I vomited for the first time since June on Saturday, it was all bile and the water I tried to drink. The goddamned dog would go around where I was puking and lick the grass, it was revolting. I'm just glad that no one reads this.

T. Austin Huse